Monday, July 11, 2016

Asa Jensen Grossnickle

Our 4th child was born at 38 weeks, July 9th, 2016, at 10:55 pm on a rainy Saturday. My biggest baby, coming out at 8 lbs 2oz, and 21 inches long.

This pregnancy was a little more difficult than my previous ones and I was ready to have him. Tim made a last minute trip to Utah to see family he hadn't seen for a few years. He left on Sunday the 3rd, and came back on Friday the 8th. I'm sure if he was home earlier in the week, Asa would have come sooner, but he waited for his Daddy to be home. Thank goodness for that, but it was an uncomfortable few days of Asa getting ready; sitting really low.

Friday finally came, I picked Tim and his brother Jon up from the airport at 10 am. I started to feel contractions later Friday afternoon. About 3-5 minutes apart and 30 seconds long. I start to inform kid sitters and midwifes that something may be happening that night, but didn't have anyone come over yet. I decide since I didn't have newborn diapers yet, we would go to Fred Meyer as a family and pick up some last minute things and see if the contractions would get stronger. By the time we were driving home, they got really spaced out, and stopped. False alarm - super disappointing. I've never had a false labor before, but I was kind of grateful for it. I wasn't mentally or emotionally ready to deal with labor since I still had a good memory of how last time went with Evie. I was tensing up for the contractions, thinking "oh no, here comes more pain", and focusing on the wrong things. So, I am glad I had 24 hours to change my mindset.

Annalie, my niece, was over helping me all day Saturday while I cleaned, in effort to get the labor going again. At about 6:30 pm, I started timing contractions. It felt similar to the day before, so I was a bit leery to text people at first, but I had 10 contractions in that first half hour lasting 45-60 seconds long. I contacted my midwifes and they told me to lay down and see if the contractions continued. Laying down didn't stop them, so I got up to go to the bathroom. By this point, I felt more confident it was really going to happen tonight. I called my mom at 8:30 pm to let her know, and gave the go ahead to the midwifes to come. My mom said I sounded too chipper to be in labor. That was part of the difference in my mindset from the day before. Instead of thinking "oh no!" with each new contraction, I wanted to greet them with an "Oh Yeah!" (Kool-aid man), cheering my body on for doing it's thing. I didn't have to actively think of what to do next. Just submit with a smile, each one was getting me closer to holding my baby. Just go limp and it will be over sooner.

I decided to hop in the shower before everyone got to the house. I sat on a birth ball for a little while till that was uncomfortable, took frequent trips to the bathroom, and sat on a foam mat on the floor. Nothing felt very comfortable so I had Tim fill the bath tub. I stopped tracking the contractions at 10:10 pm when they were about a minute long, three minutes apart, and getting pretty strong. Being in the tub I think helped them not feel so intense, but still felt productive. Things were getting tougher to bare, and I was getting the old familiar thought "I don't think I can do this". I know when I have that thought it's usually almost over, but I didn't think I was far enough along to feel that way yet. I had a particularly tough contraction, and asked my body "What do you want me to do?", at which point, my water broke. It was weird, because I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to tell in the water. It felt like a lime size water balloon shot out. I don't know what time it was, at that point, but the midwifes came in and stayed till pushing started.

I wasn't planning on doing a water birth. It had crossed my mind as a possibility, but ultimately decided I didn't want to. Not that I have anything against it, I just wanted someone to give me a play by play once crowning started and I didn't think I could get that in the tub. Alas, It was too late, I knew I was not going to be getting out of the tub. I was sitting upright on my knees and felt his head coming out. I re-positioned myself onto my backside with my knees up so it could be seen he was crowning. Once his head was out, I took a little break. First thing Tim notices was how chubby his cheeks were. Tim held his head while I got ready to deliver the rest of his body. Total pushing lasted less than 5 minutes and he was born at 10:55 pm.

We cuddled in the tub a little while, delivered the placenta, and Tim cut the cord. My sweet mother was here, but unfortunately missed the delivery. I am so grateful she was still here though, and got to see him after he was born. The whole labor lasted 4.5 hours. Tim woke Brody up to meet his new brother, but I'm not sure he was awake enough to remember. Asa cheated a little on his weigh in because he nursed for a little while before we got his birth weight 45 minutes after he was born.

All his siblings were excited to meet him the next morning. They want to hold him all the time. Even Evie says "baby" and wants to look at him and pat him. I have the best kids. They are so grown up and helpful. Hands down best man, husband, and father is Tim. He is so wonderful and supportive. I couldn't ask for a better companion to have this journey with.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Evie is 1!


   You are such a joy. I almost want to change your name to Evie Jean Joy, you are such a happy girl. You are always smiling. It's not very often you get upset. Even if you do, it's doesn't take long for you to be smiling at everyone again. One of my favorite things, is when I would nurse you at night and we would have a conversation of exchanging grunts and hums. Before I put you back in your bed, you would do the cutest sleepy stretch. Your signature "I'm ready to sleep" position is covering your eyes with your right arm while sucking your left thumb. As you have gotten bigger, your arm serves as a pillow as you grab your hand to hold it in place for optimal thumb sucking comfort.

   You have started to play with your silly side a bit more. You'll notice when you get laughs for doing something, and do it again. Recently you have stood up unassisted for a solid 10 seconds. I have a feeling you may start walking with in the next month or so. Crawling is still a very efficient way of getting places, and you are quick. You have all your teeth you are supposed to have plus a new molar. I love when you wake up, because you are always so happy, which is nice because your siblings aren't always so pleasant in the mornings.

   You are so sweet and love to give hugs and kisses. The kisses are luckily getting drier now. Before, you would lean in, and at the last second open your mouth and stick out your tongue for a very wet kiss. Your hugs are very deliberate and tight with purpose. Your sweet voice adds music to our home.

We love you dearly Evie Jean,

Mama and Dada

Laeunabelle is 3!

Dearest Laeunabelle,

    You love back rubs and tickles. You still tuck your arms in when we hold you. Every morning it's a gamble of whether you will whine for cereal, or snuggle in bed with Dad and I to cuddle. One morning, I got up before Daddy and you snuck in to lay down, and by the time Daddy woke up he was confused to see a blonde in my place. Your hair is getting darker, but you still have your beautiful blonde baby hair. I love you're sweet smile and goofy grins where you raise your eye brows as high as they will go. You like to play ring around the rosie, and sing ABCs, Wheels on the bus (in the shower), and I'm a Child of God. Sometimes when I do my make up, you come in and take the sparkly purple eye shadow and a brush to put on your eyes. You don't like getting your hair brushed but will sometimes let me put it in a pony tail.

   Your favorite color is pink and for your Golden Birthday this year, we had gold, yellow and pink decorations. You fell asleep right before people started showing up to your party, so we had to wake you up. You were so groggy and out of it, but eventually woke up to enjoy yourself.

  You speak so well and have such cute things to say. Some of my favorite things you say are
"mmm but,..." sometimes instead of "because" when you are trying to be persuasive.
"Fwaf fwite" for Flashlight
"basketball poop" in stead of hoop
"clesadia" for quesadilla
"Balia" for Malia
"hosible" for hospital
"my tummyful hurts" when you say this, it's ether you are full or hungry I think, It's still not clear

   As you were going to bed tonight, You asked me to come down stairs with you in an impromptu song. It was so sweet and cute as you held my hand to go down stairs. You talked about how small Evie's hand is, and how small your hand is compared to my big hand, as you wore your blue "pak pak" full of plastic coins and necklace treasures.

   Sometimes when we are just getting home from a long drive, you pretend you are asleep as we pull into the driveway and it becomes a game to see how long it will take for you to break into a smile before getting unbuckled. Doesn't usually take long.

   You are potty trained mostly, except at nights. You have a much bigger vocabulary than Brody did at this age. You love playing with an old flip phone and annoyingly, always leave it in the kitchen. You have the sensitivity to see when something isn't right or when someone is sad or mad. You have a gift in reading people's faces, and see whats not said. When you are happy, you help others be happy too. You also like to do things if it's your idea, and will adopt an idea as your own, even if it was contrary to your initial thought.

  A couple weeks after your birthday, your finger got slammed in the closet door. The doctors notes said it was "a near amputation" of your left middle finger. Our first trip to the hospital in our family, not bad I say. We were in the ER for four hours, where they gave you a relaxing drug up your nose with a syringe. Which you hated. It was supposed to give you an amnesia effect, but I'm pretty sure it didn't. Then they came back to give you numbing shots in your finger. You really hated that. Once that took effect, they gave you six stitches and took an x-ray to find your bone had a small fracture. You didn't care for getting wrapped up with a splint, but that technician was really nice and very good at his job. Still in the healing process, but all looks well.

I have noticed lately how much you have been organizing things, lining them up just so. It'll be fun to see where that takes you.

You are so fun and entertaining. We love you to pieces.


Mommy and Daddy

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Evie Jean Grossnickle

Our sweet baby girl, Evie Jean, was born on her due date at home, February 14th 2015 at 8:03pm. She weighs 7lbs 4 oz. and measures 20'' long.

It was a long day. The days leading up to my due date, I would get a couple moments of cramping, but nothing that stayed consistent. I woke up to contractions about 5 minutes apart and started to time them shortly after that. Around 9am I knew today was the day. I texted my midwife to tell her what was going on and informed friends and family the day had finally come. Because we had the flu sweep our house days before, I had to find someone who already had the flu, watch Brody and Laeunabelle so we wouldn't infect any other families. Sarah and Stuart were willing to help, and came to pick them up after Leelu woke from her nap. My Mom and sister Cassie came shortly after Ellie and Jasmine around 12:30. Once everyone was there and the kids were gone, things started to slow down. My contractions were less frequent going from 3-5 minutes apart, to about 9 minutes apart. I think I was getting performance anxiety because of all the people now waiting on me. With my last labor, I did most of the laboring alone and progressed fairly quickly that way. In efforts to start over, Tim and I tried to take a nap since laying down is what started the contractions before. We sent my Mom and my sister home till I got closer, since it was a longer ways off than I was expecting. Ellie gave me some cotton root bark to help bring on the contractions as well as using the breast pump for a few minutes and rubbing Clary sage oil on my abdomen and ankles. That started to get things going again, bringing my contractions back to 3-5 minutes apart lasting about a minute each. At this point, I hadn't been checked to see how far along I was, so at about 5pm Ellie checked me and I was at 6cm. Yay, we were getting somewhere! I was having a hard time being patient. I tried different positions, but the most comfortable was sitting on the exercise ball. Evie was in prime position and couldn't descend any further down, her head was right there, my cervix just needed to get out of the way. I was being very impatient the whole time. I had another dose of the cotton root bark. We all watched one of the most beautiful sunsets we've had all year. At about 6:20, I was at 8cm and the contractions were getting a little more intense. I took frequent trips to the bathroom, each time bringing on at least two contractions. My mom and sister were back at this point, but stayed out in the living room. Finally, during my last trip to the bathroom, my water broke which took me by surprise, and I knew I needed to get off that toilet now. I started to walk out of the bathroom and immediately had to throw up. The toilet was now too far away so into the shower I went. At this point, I knew I wasn't going to make it any further and the baby was going to be born here. We have a teak wood bench where I rested my arms, knelt on the tile and started to push. It all was happening too fast and very intensely. She was immediately crowning and out in a minute. The pain caught me off gaurd and it was hard to keep my cool and focus. Both Ellie and Tim caught her as Tim exclaimed "It's a girl!". She came out with her hand by her face, the cord pinning it under her chin and twice more around her neck. I was in shock, and couldn't hold her for a few minutes. I felt like I couldn't move, which was fine because they had to untangle her anyway. I got the shakes as I stood up and turned to sit down and deliver the placenta. She was so beautiful and tiny, despite the bruising on her face from the speed of the delivery. I got her to latch on for a little bit before I took a shower and the after pains kicked in. Ellie helped push out the clots, which hurt quite a bit but was necessary. Evie makes the cutest little noises and has already made our family so happy. Brody and Laeunabelle came home this morning and were so happy to see her and comment on all her little features. Brody wanted to see her feet, He looked at her toes and said "oh look at her big toe, it's so little". They both love looking at her and touching her gently. She has got some great older siblings. When I asked Brody what Evie's second name should be he said "hm....Evie.........Cute." 
We love our new addition.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Laeunabelle is 2!

I have been wanting to keep up on this tradition of writing my children letters on their birthdays of what I love and learned about them so far in their lives. I haven't kept up on it as much as I like but I'm sure they will forgive me for the times I do remember.

Laeunabelle Rose,

   My sweet Leelu, Luna, Laeuna. I love your name and how perfectly it fits you. You are such a doll and sweet girl. You are friendly to everyone. I don't think I can even name one person you have shied away from. You are quick to cuddle with people you feel safe with, which is just about everyone. You make everyone happy and feel your love. I have people coming up to me, telling me how wonderful you are; They instantly fall in love with you and wonder if it's possible for you to get any sweeter. You are such a ham and like to make people laugh with all the cute faces you make. If you have the attention of others, you do this cute shoulder shrug thing. Your smile is infectious. Every time I turn on the vacuum, you come into the room and start spinning in circles; Every time. You are such a good dancer, and really know how to move your body to the music and can clap on beat for a little bit; Better than any 2 year old I know. You have been picking out and looking through books a lot lately. Especially the touchy-feely books, colors and shapes, and farm books. You like to play with Brody and help clean up toys when we are doing it together. 
   You are a little bit of a dare devil, You love to wrestle with Daddy and Brody and keep up with how rough they can get.  I saw you headlock Brody and take him down to the wrestling mat; both of you laughing. Three times you have climbed off(fallen) of a surface that was over your head; with no fear and recovering without assistance.
   You have been talking so much and so clearly, especially within the last couple months your vocabulary has really taken off. 
I recorded on December 17th some things you were saying but even now are so much clearer.
"Bwobee" shortly turned into "ba-wodee" which you will call from across the house
"tank que" thank you and "peas"
"gaga" cracker
"nummy" yummy
"daowk" milk but now it's "miwk"
"nahnah" turned into "naP" with a hard P
You tap you "Bieber" (Diaper) and say "peepoop""beep boop"
"sis" for Sirius and you yell for her to come but sounds like "sis! dum!"
You can say water very clearly
When we warm up your milk, we count down to when it's done. You now count 1 and 2 and hold up the number 2 on your fingers.
you can ask for "seawil" cereal for breakfast but still won't eat much by yourself
you really like baths and showers and can say both clearly
you like cutie "owench" (oranges)
Yours and Brody's favorite bath toy is a plastic "shawrk" shark which you persist to use as a cup. so gross
When we give high fives and fist pumps, you make the blow up sound as you pull your hand away. You like to experiment with sounds and clicks you can make with your mouth and throat. The  squeals and screams are my least favorite right now. You are quick to copy cat and can repeat back words pretty accurately. You are learning so quickly. In the mornings, you'll come into my bed and lay down next to me and insist on getting under the blankets. When you cuddle, you still like to tuck your arms in front of your chest and wiggle into place. Clothes, in your opinion, are optional.

You are so loved and adored my sweet princess

Wednesday, April 10, 2013


There are many things floating around in my mind I have been meaning to write down. So I preface this post with a warning of disorganization.

We have been greatly blessed with a new addition to our growing family. Laeunabelle Rose Grossnickle was born February 3rd, 2013. She is so incredibly beautiful, I can't help but tear up when I look at her. She was born in the comfort of our home at 10:09pm, weighing 7lbs 13oz, and measuring 20.5 inches long with the help of our wonderful midwife Ellie. It was such a wonderful experience and we were all in our own beds by midnight. It was super bowl Sunday (keeping with the "holiday" tradition of birthdays). I stayed home from church because of an awful virus I had caught. Coughing and drained, Tim decided to take Brody to our friend Stuart's house to give me a quiet house to sleep in. Around 5pm or so, my napping was interrupted by some waves of tummy pain. I didn't think I was having contractions but I decided to text my midwife anyway to ask her advice. I thought because I was sick, I was probably just dehydrated and constipated, causing my discomfort. She advised me to try to get them to stop by taking an Epsom salt bath and drinking lots of water.  My contractions didn't stop and were consistently 3-5 mins. apart and lasting about 30-60 seconds, gradually getting slightly more uncomfortable. After sitting in the tub for maybe 40 mins, I felt the need to go to the bathroom, plus the tub water was cooling down. The whole time I'm texting my midwife back and forth. Finally she asks me if she can call me while I'm having a contraction to get a better read on where I am at. I still was in denial that I was in labor. We talked on the phone for about 5 minutes. I had two contractions that I could still talk through but by the end of our conversation, I asked her to go ahead and start the hour drive it would take for her to get here. Meanwhile, my Mother had texted me to check on how I was doing since she was at my sister Melanie's house helping with the twins. I told her what was going on but to not worry or come over. She was convinced before I was that I was in labor and offered to come over at any moment. Both my mother and midwife freaked out that I was at home by myself. I explained why Tim was away and they demanded I tell him to come home NOW. My mother showed up first and began timing my contractions with an app on my phone. They were about 3 minutes apart and lasting a minute each time, getting more intense. I couldn't walk through them any more or talk much. My midwife, her assistants Erin and Sahara, and Tim all showed up at the same time. She checked my cervices and I had been dilated to 7-8cm. That's when I knew it was really happening, and I was going to be holding my baby girl soon. My father came and helped Tim give me a blessing between contractions. It was perfect but cut short by another contraction. Brody went to bed shortly after they got home, after saying "Mommy ouchies". I labored most of it by myself because it was only and hour and a half after everyone got here that Leelu was born. In the time everyone was home, I had a moment of uncertainty. I had to refocus my thoughts because I was starting to get scared that I couldn't do it. I knew when that thought came to my mind that it would be over soon but I needed to pull myself together. Keep in mind, I am sick as a dog, coughing during contractions. During the majority of the pregnancy, I had some sharp pains I would describe as "someone scratching at my cervices from the inside". My midwife said that's from the baby having their hands by their head or sucking their thumb. It's very uncomfortable. So between contractions, there was still this sharp pain that persisted and it was messing with my mind over matter tolerance. Eventually I calmed my mind by reminding myself that I could do this and to surrender to my body because it knew what it was doing. I didn't need to think about it. At that point I was much quieter, and going through transition. I knew exactly when she began to crown, and knew it was about to get a lot more intense, but it was almost over and none of this pain was going to matter in a few short moments.  She decided to come out with her hand tucked under her chin after pushing for about 15 minutes. She was in my arms immediately and began nursing right away. It was such a wonderful moment. My labor took about 5 hours and I am so thankful for that.

The next morning Brody met her and has wanted to hold her and give her kisses ever since. He is such a good big brother. So helpful. There are moments when he wants more of my attention but he is good at being patient. He is able to communicate better and has the cutest voice. We have been working on the ABC's song and I catch him practicing the tune. He is getting closer and it's so sweet to hear. His potty training is getting better now since Leelus' been born. He tells me when he needs to go by exclaiming "potty" or "poop" (I'm sure he will love me for posting this when he is older). He is so sweet and thoughtful. One day I was sitting on my bed with tears running down my face. He came into the room and said "crying". He then left to the kitchen, got on a bar stool to grab the tissue box. He brought the box to me, took out a tissue and wiped my cheek for me. It was the cutest gesture. These are some of his most current phrases and word interpretations.

"Ohpet" for Open it.
"Loberts" for Lobster
"duh.....bul.......u" Three syllables said distinctly slow for W
"Fyder" for his Pacifier
"Chocrit" for Chocolate, although he says it correctly now
"Seerwis" for Sirius. He also calls for her to come
When at IHop, our waitress came to our table and addresses Brody by asking how he was doing. He replies by tapping the table and saying "...(gibberish)...water...(gibberish)..." requesting she get him some water.
"Thankoo" for Thank you. When you tell him You're welcome, he then tells you "You're wecom"
"Lowgurt" for Yogurt. He asks for this or "chocrit sirweeoh" for "beckfasth"
"boonce" for spoon
"nax" for snacks
I asked him the other day if he could say adorable, it came out "a dumbldor"

There are many more I can't think of right now

Monday, June 4, 2012

Better late than never...

 I haven't posted in a long time and I'll start with the not so great parts just to get it out of the way. This past mothers day marked my third miscarriage in 7 months. It has been hard to make sense of it, but I have just come to the conclusion it must not be time yet. I need to focus on getting myself healthy. Through all of these constant ups and downs with my hormones and immune system, I have been spiraling into bad habits. I know the Lord knows me, and knows I could be better. He has a lesson to teach me and you bet I'm gonna learn it. I have to stop myself from feeling bitter towards the many people around me having babies. I am happy for them.

Which brings me to my wonderful, not a baby anymore, son that gives me great joy. Damon Brody Grossnickle turned 2 on May 31st, 2012. I have written a little letter to him trying to round up his cuteness to reflect on.

Brody, you are such a wonderful boy. Your smile makes me laugh it gives me so much joy. You have many expressions you can pull with your face, you are a natural comedian. It becomes hard to find you when you sneak outside and shut the door behind yourself. I have to keep all the outside doors lock; but even then I can still loose you in the house. You learn so quickly. Though I can't always understand you, you have so much to say. The first night we tried a toddler bed, you woke up at 2 am, let Sirius out of her room, and opened our bedroom door chatting up a storm. When Daddy took you back to bed, you kept talking and giggling as you settled back in, finding Bear and flipping your pacifier under your nose, and fell asleep. You have such great dexterity and agility. You have become better at jumping with both feel off the ground, and you can clime up to the top step on the ladder, and back down all by yourself with such sturdy confidence. Your sweet spirit has taught me a lot and keeps me in check. Before each meal, you pull up your chair, buckle yourself in, and fold your arms so reverently for prayer. You like to drink out of a cups or water bottles rather than sippy cups; although you make a mess of whatever you didn't hydrate with. Playing in water is one of the many times you light up with joy, you have so much fun. Other than playing in water, anything with wheels has your attention. You ride around the house on your tricycle, shuffling your feet. You are so close to learning how to petal. You are learning what your body can do and what it needs so well. When you show me you are tired, you will lay down with out a fuss, usually. You are so smart. You are constantly pointing to things and I can't wait till I know what you are saying. Your voice is so sweet to listen to. The way your interact with our dog Sirius is so fun to watch. She loves you very much and likes to show you often by playing with you and licking your face. When you start to get tired of her, you put your elbow in front of your face to make her stop, sometimes it works. Sometimes when I have music on, and I'm dancing around, you try to join me by running in circles trying to turn or kick. You can do and be anything. You are more than capable of accomplish all your hearts desires. Daddy and I will be here every step of the way cheering you on. We love you so much and feel so blessed that heavenly father trusted you with us and that you chose to be in our family.